Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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