cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
