Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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