I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
