can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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