do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Houston, we have a squirter
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
