the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
