Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
