it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
