p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
