So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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