I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
