There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The air was thick with penises
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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