I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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