Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
