Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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