She is in my trunk
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
