Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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