I could make wine with my vomit
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
