i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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