Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am available for nakedness
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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