Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
