remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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