I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
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