You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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