I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
