She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize