Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I want her autograph on my taint
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
