More tranny stories later!
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
