Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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