zippers are such a cool invention
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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