is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
4 words: hood of his car
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
