I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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