I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
