There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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