My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
