I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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