If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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