dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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