I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
