dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
