I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
