Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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