what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
