I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't deserve a penis
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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