oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My nipple is on Facebook.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
your like the ambassador to my penis.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
