know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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