I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
