I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
