no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
