At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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