She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
