put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
