they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
