I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We're not piercing ourselves today.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
