Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
