he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm getting married
To pizza
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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