the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize