Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
