Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
