i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
