SEEEEXXX PLEASE
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize