he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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