How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
