WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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