Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
