just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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